Some people are mean, hateful, spiteful, deceitful, sneaky and malicious. They cause immense pain and destruction.
We need to forgive them. Otherwise, we live with unresolved anger. This can make us bitter. It can also make us sick. This can cause even more damage than the initial insult.
The only way to break this cycle is to forgive. Forgiveness is so liberating. It does wonderful things for you. It also sends a clear message these unpleasant series of events no longer consume you. Now you’re free.
How to Forgive a Terrible Person
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Forgiving someone who betrayed me was something I had to do myself. So I know how difficult it can be. In my case, it was a deceitful female friend. It took me years to learn the truth. Meanwhile, she caused immense damage, especially to my other relationships. In retrospect, it’s hard to believe that one person was capable of so much destruction.
Unfortunately, today, this type of behavior appears to be epidemic. That’s why I decided to write How to Forgive a Malicious Person, which you can see below. You can read about my personal experience here, and the steps I took to arrive at forgiveness. For me, once I forgave, I was able to experience immense joy. Strangely enough, I can now see blessings that directly resulted from this unwelcome encounter.
How to Forgive the Unforgiveable
I wanted to write this book as a guide to forgiving someone who’s done something horrible, yet refuses to apologize. Hopefully, it can teach you how to get past your anger and replace it with another emotion. I wrote it with the idea of empowering the reader.
People with character disorders are master manipulators. They zero in on our weaknesses. They specialize in shaming us. The information (I hope) can help you see your experience in a new light. This light shines directly on them, and their shameful actions.
This book also explains why we should pity people who behave this way. (That’s because anyone who goes out of their way to hurt someone else is suffering greatly themselves. Sabotaging someone else gives them momentary relief.) At least that’s how I see it, from the perspective of a survivor. I’m not a mental health professional. (So everything you read here is my personal opinion only.) My grandfather, if he were still living, would say I got my degree from “the school of hard knocks.”
Forgiveness and Narcissism
Even though, as non professionals, we’re not supposed to diagnose someone, we don’t need a degree to recognize disordered behavior. Without putting labels on someone, if we see a history of lying and betrayal, we can pretty safely assume this will continue, barring Divine intervention.
Although I believe God can do anything, positive changes will come in His time, rather than ours. So, meanwhile, the best thing we can do is recognize bad behavior for what it is, and adjust our lives accordingly.
If you’re Christian, it helps to realize that God calls us to forgive, regardless of the offense.
How to Forgive Someone From Something Terrible
For me, it was really helpful to learn about various personality disorders, such as malignant narcissism. This allowed me to step back and view the situation from an entirely different vantage point. It also helped me to forgive. I realized the bad actions sprung from inner misery and emptiness. So I started to replace my anger with pity and compassion.
How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You Emotionally
Anyway, if you’re struggling with forgiveness, I hope my book How to Forgive a Malicious Person can help. It delves into the difficult of learning to forgive someone who refuses to apologize. Malicious behavior is often a sign of a character disorder.
People afflicted with these disorders generally don’t acknowledge when they’re wrong. They also disregard normal rules of decency, using people as if they were objects, and then discarding them.
Discarding is done with a flourish. It typically involves lies, deception and character assassination, in an effort to turn other people against you.
The good news, though, is that no matter what has happened, forgiveness sets you free. This means you’re free to move on with your life, and fill it with kind-hearted and generous people.