Can natural remedies help with narcissistic abuse? Let me share my story. I’m not a doctor or a mental health professional. But I know a fair amount about narcissism. That’s because I learned about it first hand.
Recovery is possible. It’s also sweet. That’s because you look back upon the situation, and realize how much you’ve learned. You appreciate how much better your life is, now that a toxic element is no longer part of it. The only problem is that recovery takes time. So I decided to hurry the process along with homeopathy and herbal remedies. Later, I discovered essential oils. I wish I’d found out about them sooner. But better late than never.
Is Narcissistic Abuse More Common Now?
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A growing number of people, apparently, have experienced narcissistic abuse, at least judging from some of the comments left on social media posts. That’s no surprise. Some social scientists have documented an alarming rise in this insidious personality disorder. One of them is Dr. Jean Twenge, PhD., who’s written a book called The Narcissism Epidemic – Living in the Age of Entitlement.
Whatever the reasons behind this, one thing is clear. Given the numbers, we’re more likely than ever to encounter someone with the extreme level of selfishness that characterizes this disorder. Many of us have, regretfully, let a narcissist into our lives. If you fit this description, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Narcissists cause off-the-charts turmoil.
It takes a long time to bounce back from such an experience. That’s because narcissists are good at gaining our trust. So we trust them. Then they betray us, typically in the worst ways imaginable. With a narc, treachery and deceit are part of the package.
How Narcissists Operate
Narcissists can’t be trusted. (I bet you already know that.) However, this is typically something we learn only in hindsight. Until then, we assume we’ve found a soulmate. That’s because narcissists are so good at reading our emotions. They mirror our thoughts, reflecting what they think we want them to be. That’s why it’s easy to develop an instant rapport with a potentially dangerous person.
Healthy relationships, on the other hand, unfold over time. They just sort of happen. Disordered ones move too fast. If it seems that someone you just met is too good to be true, maybe apply the brakes and step back a bit. I’m not a mental health professional, so I can’t give advice. But here’s what I do. Because of the documented rise in narcissistic personality disorder, I get to know people before they gain my trust. Maybe that’s always been a good idea. But it seems like a necessity today.
Natural Remedies for Narcissistic Abuse
It may seem far-fetched that a natural remedy can heal emotional pain. But the mind/body connection is well established. Herbal remedies have long been used for emotional, as well as physical, ailments. Certain medicinal plants, such as valerian and Passionflower, have a traditional use as natural sedatives.
Aromatherapists who work with essential oils use certain aromatics to heal the mind, as well as the body. Homeopaths also pay close attention to emotional symptoms, since they can lead to the right remedy. In fact, Dr. Edward Bach, MD was a famous British homeopath. He was convinced that mental negativity could make us sick. So he developed a line of gentle flower essences to treat the emotions.
His most famous creation is Rescue Remedy. This is something I’ve owned for more than a decade. I take it on occasion. It’s designed for short-term shocking situations. One of Dr. Bach’s other remedies, centaury flower essence, appears to be made for people who’ve suffered at the hands of bullies. If you’d like more information on this homeopathic remedy, you can read about it here, in one of my earlier posts. (I want to mention that I personally don’t take homeopathic remedy indefinitely, despite what instructions on the bottle may say. I take one dose and then see what happens. Only if I notice my symptoms returning, do I take another.)
Natural Healing from Narcissistic Abuse
There’s not much research into natural healing from narcissistic abuse, for a number of reasons. One is that knowledge of personality disorders is still in its infancy. In fact, the term “malignant narcissism” wasn’t even coined until the 1960’s. That’s when Dr. Erich Fromm PhD., began to notice people with a strange constellation of symptoms, which includes total disregard for the rights of others. (If you’ve already read this far, you probably don’t need me to list all the other characteristics.) Suffice to say, Dr. Fromm was so taken aback that he described this behavior as the “quintessence of evil.”
Also, natural remedies get relatively little attention, at least in mainstream medical circles. That’s because much of the research involves bringing new drugs to market. There’s limited incentive to study something natural, which can’t be patented.
Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
Because of this, I can’t tell you that a certain natural remedy will help you recover faster from narcissistic abuse. Also, I try to steer clear of claims. What works for one person may not work for another. However, there’s a growing body of evidence that stress has terrible consequences for our health. I know firsthand that narcissistic abuse is so dreadful. So I feel the need to cover this topic, even though this is primarily a natural health site.
That’s because I believe all the natural remedies in the world won’t compensate for unresolved emotional anguish. This is something that has to be fixed. I try and give my readers a way to do this. First, I like to tell them what I’ve learned about narcissistic abuse. I do stress that I’m not a professional. But I hope someone else can learn from my experience. Also, I encourage them to forgive. That’s because it’s been proven that being angry is bad for your health.
In addition, natural remedies have helped me tremendously. So I like to share my personal experience of using them. From time to time, I write a fresh articles on narcissistic abuse. Here are some of my previous posts, because I believe this topic is too important to neglect.
Healing After Narcissistic Abuse
In some ways, for me, healing was easier. I never lived with the narcissist in question. She was a former “friend,” who turned my life upside down. I met her in a church setting. So, once I figured out what was going on, it meant finding a new place of worship. It also meant cutting ties with her, as well as with other people in our social circle. However, by then, the situation had turned pretty toxic. That made it easy to walk away.
However, my experience was upsetting. Even though I’m a happily married wife and mother, it was horrifying to discover a good “friend” had betrayed me. It also meant uprooting my children from a religious setting, in which they’d spent their formative years. I worried this would destroy their faith. I’ll spare you a lot of the other details. It was a painful experience. But it ended well. I learned a lot, and I’m now (hopefully) in the position to help others. This also taught me to appreciate the simple goodness I notice, when someone is kind.
My situation was unique. The narcissist in my life was a chosen relationship. It wasn’t a family member. Nor was it a romantic encounter. I unearthed very little information on the phenomenon of destructive female platonic relationships. But I knew the incidence of narcissism is on the upswing. So I decided to write Are Women Getting Meaner?, to shed some light on this under reported topic.
Healing After a Narcissistic Relationship
One thing to remember is to give yourself time. This, alone, will help you heal. However, I decided to rush the process along with natural remedies. Working with a skilled homeopath, she gave me remedies that corresponded with my symptoms. These were not specific abuse remedies. Instead, they corresponded with my constellation of symptoms.
For instance, my chief complaint was back pain. So I took different remedies to address that. Homeopathic remedies affect the entire body. So one of the “side effects” was mental piece and a sense of calm. I love homeopathy. It’s safe and effective.
One drawback, though, is that you need to work with a professional. Unless you have a good understanding of this discipline, you’ll want a skilled homeopath to choose the right remedy. There are hundreds and hundreds of remedies. So narrowing down the one you need is an art, as well as a science. If you need help finding a homeopath, an earlier post I wrote shows you where to look.
Moving on After Narcissistic Abuse
I also took herbal remedies for my back pain. These helped reduce the inflammation. The nice thing about herbal medicine is that, similar to homeopathy, it affects the entire body. So if you take something for your back, you often get a mental boost as well. One of my favorite herbal remedies is tulsi. This is an ancient Indian Ayurvedic remedy.
Tulsi is also considered an adaptogen. This means it’s a plant that’s believed to have unique capabilities to protect us from physical, as well as emotional, stress. If this is true, it made sense for me to drink tulsi tea. I liked this brand of organic tulsi tea with lavender. Lavender is also considered a good stress remedy.
Other herbal remedies with soothing qualities include:
Chamomile tea (It’s available here)
Passionflower (It’s available here)
Valerian (It’s available here)
I encourage my readers to work with a good holistic minded practitioner. Personally, I never take any herbal remedy longer than 1 to 2 weeks, maximum. I never take the full dosage on the bottle either.
Healing After a Narcissistic Relationship
I’ve also used essential oils. They’ve changed my life. I used to suffer from insomnia, a problem that predates my encounter with a malicious personality. Now, I inhale essential oils before I got to bed. The soothing aroma takes my mind off of anything worrisome, so I can just go to sleep. Nearly every essential oil company sells a special sleep and relaxation blends, and I’m trying various brands, so I can tell my readers about them. One of the blends I’ve tried is Edens Garden Stress Relief. It contains bergamot, patchouli, orange, ylang ylang and grapefruit essential oils. It smells exquisite.
There’s actually bit of research into essential oils and emotions. It’s been found that lavender essential oil has mood stabilizing properties, according to the University of Maryland Medical Center. The UMMC is unusual in the fact that it seems to have an open-minded view of alternative medicine.
Spiritual Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
I’m convinced that the only way to move beyond the abuse is to forgive the abuser. I know this is difficult. People with narcissism don’t like to admit they’re wrong. Nor do they like to apologize. If you can get them to say, “I’m sorry,” it may not be sincere. It may also be followed by a litany of your perceived wrongdoings, in an effort to turn the tables and get you to apologize to them. (I know, I’ve been there.)
But, unless we forgive, we remain stuck in the past. So we have to find a way to let it go, even in the absence of contrition. Remind yourself that forgiveness is going to help you. It’s not going to affect the narcissist one way or another. Actually, he or she would probably prefer you stay angry. That way, you’re still in the game. Once you forgive, the game’s over. You regain the upper hand.
Even if it seems like an impossible task, you can do it. Forgiveness sets you free. I know forgiveness can seem like an impossible task, especially when dealing with a devious person. That’s why I wrote How To Forgive a Malicious Person. This is a guideline for moving on when you’ve been seriously wronged. But an apology is not forthcoming.
These statements have not been approved by the FDA. These products are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use essential oils or herbal or homeopathic remedies unless directed to do so by a doctor or midwife.